You Are My Sunshine

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine..."

 

"Mama why you don't finish it" said Isha as silent tears rolled down my cheek thinking of the days I used to sing the girls lullabies to put them to sleep, in our home, in Tal Al Hawa, every night, without fail, we would have a few lullabies and end with our duas. 

 

Isha continued the song for me "you make me happy when skies are grey", "finish it mama, why don't you finish it". 

 

I wipe away the tears and complete the song as I put her and her sisters to sleep. 

 

The news I had before about our street being bombed was incorrect, it was nearby. 

 

However, I called my husband a couple of hours ago and he told me that everyone in our area, in my street, had been told to immediately evacuate as bombing was imminent. He told me that it was madness, everyone running for their lives trying to get out asap, leaving their home behind, not knowing if it will be there at the end of this nightmare.

 

Alhamdulillah my hubby, and also my mother in law, got out but nowhere is safe and my silent tears are falling at the thought of what will become of the town I have called home since 2015, of the families, the people, who couldn't get out. Tal Al Hawa has already been pounded to the ground more than you can imagine but it isn't enough for them. 

The home me and my girls made into our little world, the garden with the monkey bars and swings, the nice little greenery our landlord had planted (they have had to evacuate as well), will it all be there or gone? The writings, the scribbles, the drawings the girls did on the walls inside our home, will it all be a heap of rubble? 

 

The lullaby made me cry; the first time in two weeks, as I associated a time of safety and peace for my children during these moments before bed,  and now I sing it in fear of it being the last time I do. 

 

We have made it so far, but in Gaza, every moment smells of death and there is no sign of a ceasefire yet. 

 

Allah, be with us, as you have been and keep us strong and patient, we will get through this with you.

*Rina and her family are among the hundreds of thousands of people displaced in Gaza by the genocidal zionist bombing